Today, I sat at my desk about 5 different times to write and found that I could not. Usually, I simply jump right in and let the words flow. Today, however, nothing seemed to come out…
I kept writing down sentences that made no sense and felt fake. I even began writing a poem which went something in the line of:
Seeking advice – I speak.
Seeking solace – I speak.
But it is the truth, I seek.
I think it was going to be about silence: it would have been how much I rely on speech in everyday life to work through interpersonal issues or to make sense of my thoughts and how I wish I could simply remain silent instead. Perhaps it would be better if I could just process it all on my own, because as I have written in another post, words can be misconstrued and they can hurt, even though you have no intention of hurting anyone. But I know that is not what it is about – I need to find the right balance though. It probably explains why I could not write today – I was stuck – I was lost. I was confused.
That is why I want to take a leap forward into my life now instead of being stuck. When I first started this blog, I wanted it to be about posting art, poetry (hence the title), either my own or others’, and all sorts of issues I believed mattered. I never thought I could get any followers, but now I have a few. I am grateful to them and they make me want to keep writing, thinking and creating. I am going to try and do that from now, instead of being despondent and of letting my creativity be shattered even as it forms into thoughts.
I’ll jump right in!