Time’s passed and I’ve never met a friend like you. Sometimes, I miss you still. I miss you now when so many new things are happening, when I want to learn more about gardening, when I want to reconnect with my Jewish and Slavic roots, when I want to see your vibrant energy, when I want to be open and carefree, when I am at a stalemate and I need to talk because you were challenging and you forced me out of my comfort zone. I miss you when I choose gemstones and think of making things. I miss you when I feel ungrounded. There’s only one other person in the world I can speak to as easily as I talked to you, and I am grateful and lucky that she is by my side every day. I love her – my love, my romantic partner, my dearest friend, the sunshine that brightens up my days, the one person that makes everything a tad bit easier.
I am happy. There’s so much you’ve taught me that’s helped me build this life for myself, with my cats and my dogs, and the love of my life who is all I could have ever wished for in a girlfriend. I wish you knew each other and were friends. I wish you both told me to get a hold of myself and push through when I am too anxious to move. I could see you arguing over the little things and having so much fun. I wish you knew Ina and Samy, and Lisa and I could know your little girl and your dog. Drinking lattes in the sun and hiking in the woods, playing around with paint and pearls and dancing to music in the house. Sharing secrets, growing, healing, blossoming. Or perhaps I don’t remember how it was and I’m only left with the good part. I like it better this way. I like remembering the aura I perceived and believed in so strongly. I must have hurt you in so many ways. Ir perhaps that’s giving myself too much value. I don’t know. I don’t care. If I hurt you then, I am deeply sorry. I am so very sorry.
I know you’ve blossomed and that’s all that matters now. It seems you are where you had always wanted to be and I am glad that you are. No. I am happy and sincerely proud of you for making it because you deserve that kind of happiness and love. You’ve always gone straight for the dream, which, you know, you were right about all along. If you don’t chase them, you’ll never catch them, right? There is so much you were right about and I want to thank you for showing me the way. Thank you for reminding me, every day, that we are all allowed to follow our dreams. Thank you for showing me you can actually make it if you work hard and if you dare to ask. Thank you for teaching me about crystals. Thank you for reminding me that there was a light inside of me when I could not see it. Thank you for the late night talks and for showing me friendship could be just that beautiful. Thank you for talking to me that day, far in the past. Thank you for being my friend once. I hope you are happy, and you are fulfilled and full of all the love you deserve.
The Colour of Poetry 